KERRYMAN ATTEMPTS TO VISIT EVERY IRISH PUB ON EARTH : Psycho-geography, Anthropology, Pints.

It’s Paddy’s Day, Irish Christmas , a time for solemn reflection ; What does Irishness mean in 2024? What constitutes the notion of a peoples? When does patriotism veer into cultural cringe ? How do race , culture, history and nationhood reconcile themselves amongst a storied diaspora from an island forever tossed on the vagaries of fortune? BUT REMEMBER! – it’s also a time for donning novelty head gear and downing overpriced pints in plastic glasses amidst drunken businessmen and confused bedraggled tourists !!! So , to cash in on this Hibernophelia , here are the 33 Best Irish Pubs I have ever been to thusfar , ranked for your pleasure . I do know there are some glaring omissions, like the Gravediggers, or that one in Nepal where donkeys deliver the Guinness kegs, but there’s still ample time for them.

33. Gracie o’Reilly’s , Kuta , Bali, Indonesia

Full marks for location, hidden on the Australian island of Bali somewhere in a gated residence is ‘Gracie O Reilly’s’ . Gracie’s is nothing to write home about, save for the fact it is frequented by an actual Balinese leprechaun called ‘Famous Seamus’ who reads the bingo numbers in a flawless Northside Dublin accent . Which I wrote home about! Read more here:https://publicanenemy.com/2018/09/30/publican-enemy-special-triple-episode-great-expectasians/

32. The West End , Fenit, Co. Kerry , Ireland

Every St. Stephen’s Day, as a rule, my family descends on this village tavern armed with enough stringed instruments to adequately support the London Symphony Orchestra; with the sole aim of entertaining the hoi and the polloi of the Armchair Republican stronghold of Fenit and its environs. Every year, without fail, they allow us. And serve us endless free pints, like bards of old being cosseted for their otherworldly talents. Please note, I am legally obliged to mention them.

31.Freeney’s, Galway City , Ireland

If you like flick knives, decorative boxes of embalmed fish, fine pints, and a roaring fire, Freeneys is for you. If you don’t, well I don’t know how to help you.

30. Feeney’s, London

Not to be confused with Freeney’s, Feeney’s is the most underrated pub in all of London. Charmingly authentic, pint sized and the greatest thing to come out of Leitrim since (INSERT SOMETHING FROM LEITRIM HERE) , Feeney’s also does an amazing pint, winning the coveted PEEYPA Pint o’ the Year. And it’s in front of a huge Brewdog which acts as a magnet for tossers in the area, keeping Feeneys for those in the know .

29. The Sheephaven , Mornington Crescent , London:

A haven for Sheep and sport lovers alike. Last time I was there, I had the pleasure of chatting shite with pint-sized, Scotch-Irish goal machine Ray Houghton, who fittingly never has to pay for a pint the rest of his life. I remember asking him (circa 2012) who was better- Guardiola or Mourinho; he thought the later, whereas I the former. History has proved me to be the winner in that argument , although here I am still paying for my own pints, so who’s the real winner? The answer is Ray Houghton. It’s also quite sexy now, which is mad cause last time it was full of aul lads standing for the anthem.

28. The Dubliner, Malta :

Malta is a right aul mix bag of Italian Arabic , British , Norman influences all crammed into a tiny island adrift in the Med. The Dubliner was the best Irish pub I found, but special mention must go to ‘The Pub’ , a hole in the wall in Valletta where pugnacious Boozesmith Oliver Reed drank himself into oblivion in his insane final round. This was a good one – https://publicanenemy.com/2018/05/28/supermalt-or-the-irishman-who-went-to-malta/

27. Mulligan’s , Amsterdam

Mokum’, the ‘Venice of the North’, or the ‘Dam is one hell of a fine city if you stay away from exactly all the shitty places that a teenage British tourist would go. And for pubs, that means going to Mulligan’s. Housed in a trademark slanty shanty, Mulligans is a home for folk-volk in the city and has Celtic music legends festooned on the walls, although none of any of the members of Boyzone, nor Westlife, or even Boyzlife, the short-lived supergroup, for that matter . More here: https://publicanenemy.com/2022/04/22/double-irish-with-a-dutch-sandwich/

26. Mannion’s, Tottenham, London:

Mannion’s defies description as an Irish small town pub seemingly transposed to gritty North London, a sacred space that is both timeless and seemingly existing in a magic realm all of its own. So many things to like, but most of all the watchful eyes of Samuel Beckett standing astride a stage-type thing , burning into your soul, or the lovely mural of the owners on horseback like an 80’s Sci-Fi novel. Wrote I at the time;

”You can never be disappointed if you have zero expectations, as my Grandpa used to say. And that’s why he was fired from his job as Motivational Speaker. And yet, I went to Mannions on a whim, finding it on Google maps not 10 minutes from my home in Walthamstow but never once on my radar in 20 years of London life. We chanced it on the day Ireland beat South Africa in the rugby, and what an evening was had. Let’s start with the art; a painting of the owner and his wife on a black horse, the eyes of a massive Samuel Beckett staring at you from below the TV and behind the bar a Tayto based anti-sectarian fresco. Then the barman , not happy with the keg he’d just changed , asked if we wanted about 6 pulled pints on the house . We stayed for a lock in and played pool with the barman in between him serving the regulars. All of this on our first visit. It twas as if a fever dream. Perhaps if we were to return, all we would find is a derelict building and and a black and white photo of us all at the bar, dated 1921. So yeah, pretty good this one.”

25. JJ Murphy’s , Sofia, Bulgaria

On the frontiers of Europe , at the heart of the Post-Soviet paradise of Sofia lies JJ Murphy’s, on the inside a very authentic Irish pub , outside a courtyard with feral cats and unseasonable warmth. Bulgaria may have the fastest shrinking population in Europe but this place was rammed of a Saturday afternoon so kudos to Mr Murphy , who may be the proprietor or possibly a fictional mascot?

24. The Toucan, Soho, London

The place is one big ole Guinness ad , the furniture is like giant pints, its cramped, impervious to natural light so it shouldn’t work but it does. With about approx 43 Guinness taps on the go, and a cosy cellar space , the crowds constantly spill outside onto the Soho streets , giving it a perpetual block party vibe. Toucan play that game !

23. Minas Tirith, Palermo , Sicily

Did you ever spend an entire New Year’s Day watching all 3 of the extended versions of Lord of the Rings back to back with nothing but a takeaway pizza because your fragile mind craved the triumph of purity against an oppressive, destructive, uncaring world? If so, then you might want to go to the world’s foremost and only LOTR-themed Irish pub, which for some reason is in Palermo. A Lord of the Rings pub makes total sense, cleverly blending one of the most successful film franchises of all time with the world’s most favorite brand of hostelry. Put them together? You’ve got a sure-fire success! See how many Elfish related puns I shoehorn in and tell me what your elf eye’s see here – https://publicanenemy.com/2019/06/30/drink-yourself-si-cily/

22. Duffy’s, Krakow:

An absolute gem of a city, Krakow has something for all if your primary interests are reasonably priced boozing and man’s inhumanity to man. My advice- stay away from the touristy pubs of the old town, and go instead to Kazimierz , the former Jewish Ghetto to the South. Where you’ll find Duffy’s, as authentic of a pub you’ll see right down to the smell of years of Guinness seeped into the flooring.Krak- ho here https://publicanenemy.com/2023/03/04/king-krak-irish-pub-no-56-58-krakow-polska/

21. Shamrock Bar , Roma:

Standing out for its location, the Shamrock Bar would have been the local for thirsty gladiators and plebs alike circa 47 AD due to its proximity to the Croke Park of its day, the Colluseum. Draped in vines on the outside and football scarves on the inside, its a pretty spot but i’m not sure how Irish it is. But seeing as the Romans spanned most of the then-known world without bothering to go to Ireland (even though it was right there,) this later day concession to Hibernia is acceptable. 2 Thumbs up !

20. The Flan O’ Briens, Bath ;

Encountered on a random day out in the picturesque but slumbersome town of Bath, Flan’s is a elongated treasure with a very nice pint and a homage to one of the country’s finest writers. As a sidenote , pubs named after literary icons are by and large decent -( WB Yeats, Beckett, Peig ) and thankfully not the default James Joyce option that’s been done to death.

19. The James Joyce; Athens Greece

You can see how James Joyce works as a logo though ; he’s the Colonel Sanders of the literary / pub world, instantly recognisable even in silhouette due to his pencil ‘tasch, fetching eye patch and penchant for farts. Listen, I’ve been to many a pub, but there aren’t many that stand overlooking one of the greatest marvels of human cultural achievement ; you’re thinking the fancy McDonalds in Bray, but no , it’s the Acropolis of Athena . That alone merits it’s place in the pantheon of fine pubs. https://publicanenemy.com/2017/09/17/acropolis-now/

18. Molly Malone’s , Singapore :

Molly’s , the oldest pub in Singapore, holds the dubious honour of ‘Most expensive pint I have ever had in my life’ and at £11.50 stands a good chance of never being topped. I ordered the local beer too, (Tiger!) as I thought it would be cheaper. Lord knows what the Guinness costs. Molly’s is pleasant enough and has some stand out authentic wall tat including a Wolfe-Tones Bodhran and a faded Dubliners LP. According to the blurb, the whole pub was moved piece by piece from Ireland (I imagine not literally individually as that would have cost them loads in stamps) much like the Legendary Bubble’s O’ Leary’s in Uganda.

17. The Cluricaune , Bologna:

Bologna loves an Irish Pub and a good night out, what with all the students and world’s oldest university. The roll call of legends who studied here is comparable only to Tralee IT, with Dante, Petrarch, Umberto Eco, Enzo Ferrari and even Erasmus, who was there on a ‘me’ year. This means their pubs are jumping, with the Cluricaune as the prettiest under the trademark alcoves. Scientia sit potentia!

16. Mc and Sons, Borough, London :

Located near Southwark in South London, Mc and Sons caters for all your spiritual needs in a faithful recreated old style Irish pub. I celebrated my birthday in their snug, where an affable barman fed us loads of pints through a hatch as we cocooned ourselves from the rest of the world and played a classic bar ring toss game that is infinitely more enteraining than you are imagining. What more could you want? Thai food. Really really good Thai food on top of a cracking pint. Commendable work by Mc and indeed all his sons, wife, extended family and employees.

15. Skehans, London :

Truthfully, I don’t know exactly what Feng Shui is, but you do get good vibes off a place just for the way it stands, and such is the case with Skehans. Standing proudly on the corner of a South London street, inviting you in with its lovely flowers & wee front garden area , Skehan’s doesn’t scream Irish pub, it doesn’t need to but you can tell by the good pints, constant live music and air of conviviality that pervades it’s galleries.

14. Fagan’s, Malmo, Sweden :

Swedish Snug-nugget from Svenska’s Second City, Fagan’s is a very fine example of a low key Irish pub and is in no way affiliated with an all singing all dancing posse of cockney pickpocket street urchins . They are associated with the local GAA team, so you know they are legit. V. cosy on a mildly subterranean level that the Swedes do very well.

13. The Crane , Galway

As real as it gets, the Crane of Galway is noted as being one of the finest pubs for Irish traditional music in the country. Despite its fame , it has made no concessions to the modern era, and remains unchanged from 20 years ago when I lived next door. So there’s no Irish loaded nachos , nor any Hard Selzer and little natural daylight or any of that carry on. The pint however, is pure cream.

12. Foxy Johns, Dingle

If you ever find yourself wanting one of the best pints in the country while simultaneously needing a puncture repair kit, a 10m length of garden hose or a cannister of camping gas, then you need Foxy John’s of Dingle , a nod to the Spirit Grocery of old, where pubs at the turn of the 20th century had to diversify and offer a range of services, usually as hardware stores or even undertakers. This is not to be confused with the modern Brewdog pubs, which have the dual function of being a pub and a creche for cretins .

11. Molly Malones, Jakarta :

Located in Plaza Senayan Arcadia Lantai Dasar No. 9, RT.1/RW.3, Gelora, Kecamatan Tanah Abang, Kota Jakarta Pusat, Daerah Khusus Ibukota Jakarta 10270, Indonesia, it’s little wonder Molly’s memorably took me 2 hours to find via TukTuk . Sadly, I read it’s no longer located at the back of an air conditioned shopping mall at the heart of the most populated city on the most populated Island in the world. Which is sad, because it was a proper Irish pub and one of the most unusual of spots I’d ever encountered . Support your local Irish pub guys , because you’ll miss ’em when they’re gone ……

10. The Fiddler’s Elbow , Roma , Italia.

The No.1 choice for those who know their fiddler’s arse from their fiddlers elbow, this one was my top pub after a Roman Holiday and an all-day pub crawl. Some might prefer the more expansive Scholar’s Lounge , or the Abbey Theatre but I thought Rome’s oldest Irish pub led the way despite being a windy ole corridor . Apologies for my attire in this photo as it was 38 degrees so i look like an American. You can see how Rome was visited in a day here : https://publicanenemy.com/2023/08/10/irish-pubs-60-70-rome-thats-grand-tourismo/

09. The Corkonian , Cologne; Germany

Cologne has endured misfortune over the years , first of all to be levelled by the British Army during WW2 ,then to be twinned with Cork, possibly by deception, so hence we have the city’s finest pub, the Corkonian. I had a mighty time here , observing some of the most drunken Irishmen on holiday I have ever seen . You can see the whole story here: https://publicanenemy.com/2019/02/17/ode-to-cologne/

08. The Three Carrots, Belgrade :

To this day, I am none the wiser as to why it is called the Three Carrots, but that doesn’t stop it being Belgrade’s finest Irish pub and the most originally titled on this list. A competitor Belgrade pub – the Drunken Ducks – was named after a duck who once got drunk there , but it’s the carrots that take the cake here. Belgrade is a great city to visit too so add to your list- read more : https://publicanenemy.com/2019/10/21/publican-enemy-2-part-special-millennial-balkans-serbs-up-everybody-herz/

7.The Celtic Druid , Bologna

The Druid is a great example of a foreign Irish pub, in that it is primarily for locals and students as distinct from being the exclusive haunts of ex-pats and sun- reddened tourists. Almost everyone there was Bolognese, so how Irish was it? Well, it has Harp, Bulmer’s, Smithwicks on tap, its wooden AF and they even do a Celtic Spritz, a glass of Bulmer’s with a glug of Apperol which is banging. Where the Irish pub becomes the alternative pub is the sweet spot , and the Celtic Druid weaves magic on the regs.

6. Dick Mac’s , Dingle , Co. Kerry

Dick Mac’s is a place of legend in Irish pub lore, to such an extent it has a hollywood-esque walk of fame outside on the narrow footpath. Opened in 1899, it hasn’t changed massively I’d say, although now they have a brewery nearby. It’s got whiskey, wood , snugs, Dolly Parton as a fan, and they also make leather belts. Dingle is probably a world leader for Irish pubs – and Dick Mac’s is the Mac Daddy.

5. Ned Kelly’s , Ponta Delgada , the Azores, Portugal

”I’ve been travelling for about 6 years now and visited about 50+ odd pubs and , let’s be honest here, the overwhelming majority have been either faux Irish-pub by numbers , or more recently , ageing ex-pat sun shields devoid of life. Ned Kelly’s blows these out of the water and reinforces everything that a good Irish Pub abroad should be. Firstly , it clearly says Irish pub and whatnot, but they haven’t spent silly money putting all disgarded milk churns around the place, it’s a nice open space with nods to Ireland but still with a distinctly abroad flava. They have a proper Guinness tap , with proper Guinness glasses ,and in the ultimate seal of approval, they bring the Guinness over to you and ask if you want another one when you’re done. As this is a small town , it is a go-to for a range of people on a night out- tourists, locals, dodgy geezers, college students , which give it a proper atmosphere, as if this is the only place like this in a 1000 mile radius , which it is ! I am not a learned man , but if I were to describe Paradise on the Mid -Atlantic, it would be Ned Kelly’s. Even the mad mural of Cuchulainn at the back can’t take away from what is a fantastic pub , so good that for the first time in Publican Enemy lore, I go back a second night ! That and because there’s no where else.”

4. Tig Neachtins, Galway City , Ireland

Back to Galway, a city close to my heart dating back to University days, where Neachtain’s looks the business from even from 50 metres away. Looking resplendent in its purple frontage, the inside is a pub that has grown organically labyrinthine, and like a truly great Irish pub, it has to be named after the family owners or whichever individual had the great idea to birth such a spot. No Irish Pub Ltd could ever replicate its charms, even with an unlimited budget for old books, rusty milk churns and faux vintage whiskey ads. Take that, Irish Pub and Grill, Abu Dhabi! The place is made up of snugs , which fit max 4 people at a go; which means everyone is in on the conversation, scheming and fermenting, cheek by jowl. They have a fine selection of Beamish, Murphy’s and Guinness , the holy trinity . Tourists love it, locals frequent it , I love it. Outstanding stuff from this Literary pub. It gets busy, but once you’re settled into that snug-life, there’re few finer spots on earth.

3. Patrick Foley’s , Ghent, Belgium

Ghent is a classy city that knows its drink so we you’d expect a stylish canal side affair, a Syncretic beacon of Irish and Flemish high culture. Patrick Foleys straddles both cultures imperiously, a byword for how to do a really nice Irish pub abroad. Located outside of the main town square, it overlooks a grand canal to the front down a leafy, traffic-free road. Inside, it is darn classy. The highlight definitely is the luxurious beer garden- having a substantial beer garden is a canny move for a foreign Irish Pub, as a dark wooden cosy bolt-hole is fine if you’re in the west of Ireland battered by the wind and rain but less accommodating when in a sub-tropical heatwave or facing the inevitable impending climate disaster. It has the world’s smallest snug and an Oscar Wilde dining room , and all manner of alcoves and hidey holes . Bella and I both concur that this is one of the finest of the Irish pub abroad genres and that may only be slightly influenced by the 9% strength of each glass of Belgian beer we’ve had.

2. The Wicklow Arms, Bilbao

Back in 2017 , I travelled to Bilbao alone with a dream . Go to the Irish pub and write about what happens. If this had been a washout, we wouldn’t be here 8 bloody years later and literally tens of vaguely interested cult followers . So the Wicklow Arms has a soft spot in my origin story. But for good reason. The place is tiny , as you can see from the left photo (This photo of course is from when my phone didn’t have 6 cameras on the back of it, so they look blurry from the mists of time). In that tiny cupboard of a place, they serve the most Guinness in all of Espana , and staff and clientele were the friendliest Basquetards I have ever met . Everything that’s good about Pubs abroad; merriement, devilment , all condensed into a 4×4 m . Lovely stuff.

1. The Auld Shillelagh

And here we go. I moved to London in 2005, so that’s pretty much half of my life spent outside of the motherland. Armchair psychologists could proffer that this whole blog is one man’s attempt to reconcile the plight of the immigrant, at once disconnected and looking for arbitrary connection to a former home. But as Freud never actually said, the Irish are impervious to psychoanalysis, so it might just be that the Auld Shillelagh is a very good pub that was round the corner from where I lived for some 12 years . Maybe both are true in fairness. But having lived in Stoke Newington, I always remember walking in that front door and straight away the bar staff would say hello to you as you approached . These same staff are always on it; slinging out lovely pints to hundreds in a bar where they are literally on top of one another , darting in and out in a poetic ballet of porter. And when it’s quiet they bring your pint over to you. Like all great Irish pubs, the Auld Shillelagh mimics the Irish temperment; at times perfect for solo pint -looking at your phone introspection and melancholia, but capable of transforming to life affirming revelery depending on the day that’s in it. All Ireland finals, Euros , World Cups, i have seen countless defeats in these narrow halls. If you want to show someone the magic of an Irish pub, what the hype is about, without fail , I bring them here. Tellingly, this was also the first place i went when they allowed you go to back to a pub in ye olde Covid era . I also have a painting of the place on my wall at home, so it could only be here .

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