SPONSORED BY O’NEILLS, “Purveyors of Shite since 1987”

Far be it for me to carry out a hatchet job of dodgy Irish pubs, but that’s literally what i am going to do now. Mercifully, most of those i saw had their charms , but there were a couple that were , in mine eyes, shite.

No. 3: RONNIE DREWS, KRAKOW:

I really wanted to like Ronnie Drews. From the pics it looks great. It has amazing manga Ronnie Drews on the wall. But just as you should never eat in the restaurants off the main plaza/ piazza/ platz in a major European city, the ones with the menus translated into 6 languages , you should also stay away from the central Irish pub as it’s usually the go to for lads lads lads on tour. Also, on entry, we were escorted to the table like a restaurant , which kills the bar vibe a bit for me. There are so many good bars in Krakow in Kazimerz , like Alchemia , or Eszeweria that there’s no need to subject yourself to this. Main memories include a guy picking his nose. Lovely staff though.

No 2; Loch Ness Irish Pub

It had to be ; the geographically-confused ,Cryptozoology-themed Irish bar in Calvi, Corsica. If you ever find yourself in Calvi, do definitely go, because there’s nowhere else. Loch Ness is a right curio, but it pains me to say that is as Irish as Margarer Thatcher and as economically unforgiving in its prices. The staff told me ” it’s a bar in the UK style” 🚩, then told me they dont have any pints on draught, 🚩🚩, and finally that they had run out of Guinness 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩. Back to the Loch with ye, Nessie !It also has a car on the roof for some reason.

AND IN AT NO.1 IS ..

IRISH PUB “POD PAPUGAMI “, Krakow

“KEEP CALM AND BE A LUCKY IRISH” screams the door of Pod Papugami, a slogan that reassures you about as much as the “Arbeit Mach Frei” one some 50 km to the West of here. POD PAPUGAMI , as all Irish people know means “under the parrots” in Polish , a song by legendary Irish folk singer Mateusz Święcicki . No idea what is going on here, but it seems they might have just gone with an Irish theme to lure the lucrative stag do dollar . It also has indoor smoking, which is rotten. All in all, a massive pile of shite ( in my opinion).